Sunday, July 19, 2015

This is why I'm guarded

Here's an article I came across with on Facebook. A good read. I think it summarizes what I feel pretty well.

There’s a reason why my walls are built so high, and there’s a reason it will take you longer than expected to bring them down. There’s a reason why I’m guarded.

I’m guarded because I’ve been hurt before. We all have. My weakness is that I carry the pain with me as a constant reminder that it could happen again. And while this is such a cautious way to walk through life, while instead I could be wildly sprinting, the wild sprint has made me fall and trip before, and the scrapes and burns were painful. So painful that it takes a while to try and run that fast again. So I walk, and I walk carefully noticing my surroundings because I worry if I were to ever fall that hard again, I might not be able to get back up.

I’m guarded because I’m scared of what you’ll think, but not scared enough to admit it. I fear your disapproval like a little girl fears the monster under her bed, and right now I will just keep quiet to avoid any disturbance.

I’m guarded because no one has ever protected me as well as I protect myself. My own armor has been stronger than yours, or his, or hers, and it will continue to be until someone shows me otherwise. I’m guarded because I’m no stranger to failure, and while it has made me stronger, it has also made me more aware of all that can go wrong. I’m guarded because I’ve mistakenly invested my trust in those who took it for granted, and because of their disregard, I no longer hand that trust out so easily.

I’m guarded because I see the damage coming before it even happens, and I know that the lucky ones will tell me how unreasonable, pessimistic, and sad this all sounds, but even when you try to tell yourself that this time is different, the reminder seeps back in.

Life will bring hurt and pain, and people will disappoint you, but no one has the ability to break down your walls except for you. I’m guarded because I’ve chosen to be that way.

By: Nicole Tarkoff | Source:

Friday, February 13, 2015

Sarah Geronimo is the New Face of San San Cosmetics!

Popstar Royalty Sarah Geronimo has come a long way. With a growing roster of achievements including multi-platinum albums, sold-out concerts, blockbuster movies, and a Disney project under her belt, people have taken notice on how the The Voice of the Philippines Coach has become more beautiful on and off cam despite her busy schedule. Her secret to looking beautiful? Sarah matches her personality and lifestyle with her daily use of San San Cosmetics that enhances her natural beauty.


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Viva Il Papa!

A blessed day indeed! When Pope Francis visited the Philippines, we had a chance to personally see His Holiness at the Encounter with the Youth in University of Santo Tomas, morning of January 19, 2014. We're one of the million Filipinos who braved the weather and lucky enough to see Lolo Kiko.

Standing in line and waiting for hours were all worth it. I feel so blessed that I was able to see and hear the leader of the Roman Catholic Church. I'm so thankful that I had this opportunity.

“What is the most important subject you have to learn in life? To learn how to love. And this is the challenge that life offers you.”  Pope Francis

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

#ArnoldReads: Dear Alex, Break Na Kami, Paano?! Love, Catherine

Alex Gonzaga is an author! Last September 27, she launched her first book about breakups and singlehood. It is written in Taglish (Tagalog and English) so it is actually an easy read, at least for me. The words were constructed as if she's talking right to you personally. As you can see her on tv, she's very humorous and witty, I am just so glad that it reflected in her book. 

I bought the book because I've felt I could relate to the topic. And as I was reading it, I really thought I was between its pages. It made me think of my previous relationships. It's like I was being reminded of the things I have experienced before, things that made me who I am now, a better and stronger version of myself.

A photo posted by Arnold P (@arnoldorina) on  
"Para sa mga single na, single pa, single by choice at di matanggap na single sila. Tandaan: Kaya mong maging single! BROKENHEARTED? PAANO?! Ito ang breakup survival guide ko. Alam ko kung gaano kasakit ang ma-heartbroken kaya ginawa ko ang librong ito para matulungan kang mag-let go at mag-move on. In the process, I hope na matutunan mo din na buuin at mahalin ang sarili mo. Hindi ka nag-iisa sa singlehood journey na ito. Let's share this moment together until we find The One God destined us to be with." — Alex Gonzaga  

I believe that the book is full of wisdom. Though everything that she wrote were just the basic and common steps in moving on, it will also help you somehow. This book is worth-buying, kudos to Catherine!

Monday, November 24, 2014

Dos and Don'ts After a Breakup

A relationship breakup, according to Wikipedia, is the termination of an intimate relationship by any means other than death. Breakups can be hard pero kahit gaano man yan kasakit, you should know kung ano yung mga bagay na dapat at hindi mo dapat gawin. These are the things na inadvise sa akin ng mga friends ko, nabasa ko sa articles sa internet at sa mga books, at yung mga bagay na narealize ko during the process.

Have a good cry. As I've already mentioned before, kailangan mo talagang ilabas yung lahat ng pain na nararamdaman mo dahil sa breakup ninyo. Umiyak ka lang hanggang sa mapagod ka ng umiyak, hanggang sa maisip mong hindi ka na dapat umiyak dahil sa paghihiwalay ninyo.

By any means, don't try to communicate. Creating a distance between the both of you will be a good start para maka-move-on ka. You gotta delete his/her number dyan sa phonebook mo. Wala na naman siyang care sa'yo, iniwan ka nga di ba? Hindi mo na siya kailangang itext or tawagan. With that being said, do not cyber-stalk your ex. I-unfriend at unfollow mo na siya sa Facebook, Twitter, at Instagram. Consider blocking them! It's none of your business to know what they might up to after ninyong maghiwalay. Actually, social media can be dangerous when dealing with heartaches and one of the common mistakes ng mga hiniwalayan ay ang pagpopost ng kung anu-ano. No matter how vague it is, don't post breakup dramas online. And remember do not bad mouth your ex-partner.

Don't seek for revenge. I understand that you got hurt pero worth it ba na makaganti ka sa kanya? No. Don't waste your time thinking about revenge. Mapapagod ka lang. All you have to do is to start picking yourself up. Focus on yourself and just be happy. Sabi nga nila, the best revenge is happiness. Never ever neglect yourself, your appearance and everything about you!

Surround yourself with family and friends. Call up your best friend or someone in your family who you think seems to know the right things to say about your situation. Talk to them, tell them what happened and I swear, they can make you feel better. These people can help you realize your worth.

It may sound cliche, but make yourself busy. If you're recently single after a difficult breakup, you know that it can't be easy to think about anything else at parang gusto mo na lang magmukmok sa kwarto. No, you should work on improving yourself. Get a new hairstyle, shop for new clothes, gawin mo lahat para magpabongga para sa sarili mo. You can also start a new hobby. Go the gym, try new sports, or learn how to cook. In my case, I started blogging.

When it comes to dating, there is nothing wrong with it at nasa sa'yo naman yan kung feel mo or hindi ang makipagdate. But also remember, don't rush yourself to be in a relationship  to try and fill your void. Don't sleep with anyone too soon. Never go for a rebound relationship. Bukod sa makakasakit ka ng feelings ng ibang tao, masasayang lang yung panahon na sana ginugol mo na lang sa pag-improve ng sarili mo.

Sometimes, some people are meant to fall in love with each other but are not meant to be to together. Sabi nga ni Toni sa concert niya, we really do not end up with our great love but with our true love. Some great love stories are meant to be great and yun na lang yun. When someone's leaving, hayaan mo na. Let them go kasi pag pinakawalan mo na yung taong yun, yung ex mo, then you're ready to meet the one that you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with.

Heartbreak is a fact of life and it happens to all of us at least once in our lifetime. Recognize the things that might have caused the breakup, learn from it and move forward. You have to be patient with yourself, moving on can't be achieved in just a day. Accept the reality and all the feelings you are experiencing. The only person in the world who can change the way you feel now is you. Love yourself and find the true happiness within.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Oh, Sunlight!

It has been a year since I put up this blog but I have not posted as much as I wanted to. LOL! Maybe  because I don't have a lot of time to do it or I don't have something to blog about (but actually I have so many things on my mind). The main reason I have decided to start this blog is to have something to get myself busy with. Basically I wanted to write things about life, love, and heartaches. I know I am not really good in writing though. Hahaha. Looking back, all I wanted is to be happy and at this point, I can say I truly am.

For the past year, I have learned that getting burned once should not keep you from being cynical about love and relationships, however, I've also learned that you should not depend your own happiness with other people. We should  find it within ourselves. Don't rush things just to be in a relationship; don't be fooled by the thought of just having someone as your boyfriend (or girlfriend) will give you the happiness you truly deserve because it will not. You have to know yourself first; with who you really are and what you want. Being single is not the end of the world, it is actually a call to focus on yourself.

"Love is something that is not just a feeling of hearts beating fast. Ito ay isang powerful thing na dapat ay nakakapagdulot ng positive change sa isang tao and it should bring out the best in a person. Nakakapagbigay ng tamang direksyon sa buhay at ng lasting happiness. You may not get it on your first try but don’t be afraid to try again. Tandaan natin na after every dark night comes a beautiful morning sunlight to give us hope of a better and brighter day." — Sarah Geronimo

So yeah, back to the situation I am in right now, I can say I did not give up and that I have moved on. I know I am much stronger and I believe in love now more than ever. Life is a balance - when there is darkness, there is light.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Let's do this, 2014!

The past year was a roller coaster ride for me. 2013 was the year I got my heart broken but it never stopped me from moving on. Thankful enough, I had time for everything: pampering myself, reconnecting with friends, meeting new people, and bonding with my family.

The previous year made me stronger. I came to recognize and discover so many things about myself as an individual and being a partner. I am so thankful for the year that was and I'm looking forward to a prosperous 2014. Just like the title of my blog, that was based on a Natasha Bedingfield song, "today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten.", I will take chances, I am going to try and experiment new things as this is the true spirit of life.

"All of us every single year, we're a different person. I don't think we're the same person all our lives." — Steven Spielberg

Sunday, November 17, 2013

A Perfect Night

Sarah Geronimo Perfect 10: The Anniversary Concert
The crowd (that includes me) went wild

As she celebrates her 10th year anniversary in the industry, Sarah Geronimo staged a sold-out concert at the Smart Araneta Coliseum on November 15, 2013 entitled 'Perfect 10'. In this concert, she narrated her journey - from winning the grand champion of Star for A Night to reigning as our county's ultimate Pop Royalty and Box-Office Queen - through music.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Strangers, Again

It's kinda late and I am still awake. I know I still have work tomorrow (later) though. Haha. Okay, just wanna share with you this video that I came across with on YouTube. A short film about the realities and actual metamorphosis of relationships, whether heterosexual or homosexual. I believe we have been in at least one relationship that has gone through these stages:

Stage 1: Meeting -  Do you believe in love at first sight? I do. Finding that special someone often happens by accident and if you're lucky enough, you'll meet someone who changes the way your world spins in the most unexpected time and place.

Stage 2: The Chase - It is the best part, as the name implies is the challenge of somewhat running around to please and finally get that someone. During this period, the most observable thing would be the effort. We put in a lot of it in catching up. Love is commonly the force considered to be the fuel that powers one’s efforts.

Stage 3: Honeymoon - The honeymoon phase is actually the best part of a relationship. It is the magical time wherein you and your partner are very much in love with each other. This stage features high level of passionate love: strong emotions, butterflies in the stomach, or heart palpitations.

Stage 4: Comfortable - It is the stage where you could truly be yourselves. It is the very honest and ugly stage of a relationship. Being comfortable with each  is not necessary bad though. However, you've gone past the honeymoon stage wherein the romance and constant admiration of one another goes out the window.

Stage 5: Tolerance - "Arguing is one thing but feeling dissatisfied and unhappy with the relationship is another." Since romance and excitement have gone out of the frame, the treatment for each other starts to decline. Lesser time is being dedicated, misunderstandings and arguments occur more often.

Stage 6: Downhill - Arguments don't get solved right away. We take all the pain seriously and difficult to forget. It will take a long time before you realize that your relationship is on this stage, and when you do, it is hard to climb up again.

Stage 7: Breaking up - This. Is. The. Worst. Stage. EVER. This is the stage where, either one or both of you, cannot fight for the relationship anymore. This is the death of the relationship. It is not the stage to struggle for love, those opportunities have long been gone and there's a slim possibility that everything will be restored.

Now, the question is, can we avoid the 7th stage? Of course, yes. In fact, I don't want to reach the 5th stage either. Every relationship goes through stages. Where and how each stage develops is ultimately up to each person. I have learned that a relationship requires so much effort. Making it work is not easy, but if you do, that would be the greatest thing someone could ever have.

Video credits: Wong Fu Productions, ("Strangers, Again")

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Rexona Run 2013: Run To Your Beat

We ran to the beat! Yes, last October 20, together with my sissy Arianne, we joined this year's Rexona Run at the Mall of Asia Grounds. It was a very timely invitation because I was actually looking for something new to do and enjoy, a new activity that's fun. It was my first run. Hey, I'm not counting my participation in 10.10.10's Run for Pasig which we actually walked the line through! Haha. We were at the Mall of Asia around 2:30 in the morning as the assembly time was 3:00. Beside a traditional gun shot, the race started with a fireworks display and a live performance of Sandwich with their song 'Sugod'

Rexona Run 2013: Run To Your Beat

Friday, October 11, 2013

Ways to Get Over

Moving on may not be an overnight process but it always starts with acceptance. Of course I had to accept the fact that some things, including relationships, have its own ending. It hurts a lot though; I remember there was a time that all I want to do is just lie in bed and cry all day: I was not able to go to work, or if I do, I could never be that productive. I even skipped meals. Right after that separation, I felt like I will never go to move past it and bounce back from the pain. I thought about him constantly and everything seemed to remind me of what once was. During the first few weeks, even though I have gotten rid of the all keepsakes, my heart and my mind did not get cleaned out as fast as the trash. It took a little while but eventually I have recovered. Now I’m okay, I feel better.

It doesn't matter how long or short you and your ex-partner have been together, whether two weeks, two months, or two years, splitting up really hurts. I know that it’s not easy to immediately forget someone you loved before, especially if the love you gave was real. But you just have to remember, committing to the process of healing is one of the most significant parts of moving on. Little by little, you’ll definitely get over your ex. In no time, you will be back to your old self and he-who-shall-not-be-named will be just a thing of the past. The pain of a breakup can seem all-consuming, but I promise you it will eventually fade.

Cry. Just get all the pain out. Unexplained breakups could be so awful. You may feel that your heart has been literally broken into small pieces and it can be so hard to deal with especially if you are the one left behind. You could cry until you have given yourself a headache and all your tears have run dry. You can't commit to post-breakup healing if you've got all of that welled up inside, so I suggest have a good cry.

Create a distance between the both of you. No it won’t be easy but it is the most important rule after a breakup. I know that it will be difficult to let go of the everyday interactions, but you should. Even if you think you can handle it and still get over that person, you cannot. Don't fool yourself; feelings will get hurt. Moving away from him is a big step to the right direction.

Reconnect with your friends. At some point, everyone who has been in a relationship gave up a little of their time with friends to spend with their partner. This is your moment to make up with them. Go out and have fun. Remember how much enjoyable and fabulous being single really is.

Take good care of yourself. Breakup recovery is a life-changing process and when you’re going through essential life changes, you must take great care of yourself. Being single means thinking about you, you, and you only! Do the things that will make you happy. Take that spare time after work to pamper yourself because you can and you deserve it. Include extras like starting a new hobby, meeting a new friend, watching a movie, taking a long walk, and doing things that you consider fun.

Amidst this entire trying not to speak with him, going out and partying with friends, and eating lots of chocolates and ice cream, you also need to remember to sit back and really work through your feelings. Try to understand why things went south, and why you're better off this way. Focus on the good and positive things that are bound to happen. Forgive yourself for it is a certain path to free you up to have an amazing and wonderful life in the future. I am no Dr. Love or a relationship expert who gives advices to the broken-hearted but I hope these simple things could be your guide and help you to get well and move on.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Begin Again

Every day is a new beginning as they say, and today, I will start anew. My name’s Arnold and this is my new virtual space. I’m a 23-year-old hopelessly romantic gay guy who believes in ‘once upon a time’, ‘love at first sight’, and ‘happily ever after’ that, unfortunately, just got off an almost 2-year-old gay relationship which ended for about 3 months ago.

Our relationship, for me, was like a dream come true. Everything, I thought, was perfect. And losing him was my greatest fear. We first met online; a social networking site became a bridge to connect our lives. But just like any other relationships, ours, too, has come to an end. Believe me, breaking up and saying goodbye is hard to do, and it is harder to wake up the next day and to realize that he’s already gone. Breakups are never easy, trust me because I know. But of course, I don’t have an idea on everything about relationships, because if I did, then maybe I saved ours from taking apart.